Yesterday, while teaching a Move It Momma class for moms and toddlers in Park Slope, I tore my gastrocnemius (gas-troc-ni-me-us) muscle — my calf muscle. I knew it was bad the moment it happened, but I put on a brave face and taught the remainder of the class from the floor, while icing my calf and hoping that it was better than it seemed. Sure enough, when, after class, my amazingly supportive crew of moms had to wheel me down 8th avenue in a bugaboo stroller (37.5 weight limit, bugaboo? think again) to get me to a set of crutches, I knew it was really bad. I could put no weight on my foot.
When a “normal” person sustains an injury that limits his or her mobility, that person is bummed. When a person who moves EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR MOST OF THE DAY sustains an injury that limits his or her mobility, that person is miserable. That person is now me. I am pissed. I am angry. I hate how imbalanced my body feels from having to put all my weight on my right foot when I need to hobble around my apartment on crutches. I keep hoping this is a bad dream that I will wake from soon.
Alas, it is not a bad dream, and instead of wallowing in self-pity (that was just the first part of this post), I am trying to challenge myself to learn and grow from this shitty experience. Here are my positive thoughts, in no particular order:
- At least I did not tear my achilles tendon, which would have required surgery
- Look at all the free time I now have to blog. Perhaps I will even document on an almost daily basis how I am faring, how I am healing, what creative ways I am coming up with to move my body, even when I cannot move. Perhaps.
- The orthopedist tells me that hopefully within the next week or so, I will be able to flex my foot and slowly start to put weight on it so that I can start to hobble around in a big ugly boot (that I will have to wear for 6 weeks) instead of having to use crutches. What’s good about that, you ask? Once I am off crutches, I will start physical therapy and hopefully be able to join a nearby pool so that I can start to move my body again and start to teach again. Who hates swimming as exercise? me. Who hates not moving for 6 weeks even more than I hate swimming as exercise? me.
- People keep telling me that I now join the ranks of elite athletes everywhere who sustain such injuries and eventually heal. Maybe me and Olympic champion skier Lindsey Vonn who tore her knee ligamants earlier this month can become friends and complain to each other about how much being an “elite athlete” with an immobilizing injury sucks.
One thing I want to mention before signing off is that I am so grateful for all the well-wishes, compassionate notes and offers to bring me food from all my wonderful friends, neighbors and clients, not to mention my mom, who of course has come to the rescue to take care of my kids since oh did I not mention the ironic twist that my husband is in Utah snowboarding while all this is going down! And a special thanks to my MIM moms who wheeled me down 8th Avenue and to B for letting me use your stroller — I hope mommy gave you a special treat for being so generous!
Till next time — when I can hopefully flex my foot and get that ugly boot on. Stay tuned for pictures of the ugly boot.