Most of us think and feel things about our kids, our relationships, our lives that we maybe feel ashamed or embarrassed to acknowledge or admit. Those of you who know me know that I am not one of those people. If I feel it, I put it out there. Here are some of my truths. Can you relate? Bet you can.
1. The first 6-12 weeks of new motherhood are horrible.
Yes, it is the most magical time and it is the most amazing thing in the world to be a first time mother. It is also the most horrible time. Ever. There are no words to describe how hard those first few weeks are (7 years later, I have not forgotten). Expectant parents can do nothing to prepare for it. It just is what it is. You can love your baby and still acknowledge how shitty you feel or felt. The good news — there is a light at the end of the horrible tunnel, and you will want to do it again.
2. You hate your kid sometimes.
Hate is a strong word, but yes, even though you always love him, you can feel like you sometimes hate him and want to trade him in. When I had a 2.5 yr old toddler and a 6 m old baby, for example, I said that I was the President of the “I-love-my-baby-I-hate-my-toddler club.” You may be in that club right now. It will pass. You may feel this way off and on for years. I suspect these feelings peak during the teenage years, or maybe that’s the time when he’ll hate me?
3. Even if you have the most involved, loving, hands-on husband, you still will have more on your plate because you are mommy.
Unless you are married to one of those rare men who schedule their kids’ pediatrician appointments and know when their kid needs new socks (I do know of one such man), no matter how many hours you have been working, no matter whether you have 102 fever, no matter…. you are mommy and therefore you are tasked with everything. Get used to it.
4. Speaking of daddy, its also ok to hate him sometimes.
I distinctly remember really disliking my husband during the first 8 weeks of my first baby’s life. “Are you sure he’s not hungry.” “Maybe he’s hungry.” “I am sure he’s still hungry.” Argggghhhh. F#ck Off. He’s not hungry! Though there is nothing as bonding as creating a human life, there is also nothing as hard on a relationship as going from a twosome to a threesome. Do not fear — once your baby is sleeping through the night, you will like each other again (but you will still sometimes hate him).
In the end, of course, the greatest truth of all is that despite the occasional moments of hatred, despite the challenging transitions, despite everything that makes motherhood so hard, being a mom is the best thing I have ever done (other than marrying my never-knows-where-his-kids-clothing-is husband).
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you hard working amazing moms out there!
P.S. Got any truths to share? You know you do. Please share them in the comments below.